Being a Good Friend

A few people around me are not feeling 100%.  They’re feeling slighted, hurt, unappreciated, and a bit unloved. Why? Well…because I am not the person I should be.  I am a procrastinating, busy body with a bad case of ADD.

  • I have been “too busy” to give the people around me the time and focus they deserve.  Oh, I have plenty of time to respond to my friends in need online and in far away places, but instead of pausing and focusing my attention on loved ones here, I concern myself with how everyone else is doing. My phone lights up like a Christmas tree with every new DM Tweet, Facebook message, or email stealing my attention from whomever I’m with.  Mind you, I don’t always look or respond to my phone, but believe me, everyone notices each time it goes off.
  • Birthdays have come and gone without me remembering or celebrating with those who matter most. I manage a quick “Happy Birthday” post on their Facebook or a text, but do I take the few moments I should in signing my name and investing the $.44 to send them a simple card? Do I bother to stop whatever I’m doing to give them a quick call? Nope, or if I do, it winds up a week late…or more…that’s if I even remember their birthday!  Of course, I get reminders on my phone and an AWESOME little sister who texts me to remind me of important birthdays and anniversaries, but that doesn’t seem to help me at all from waiting until the last second to celebrate with my family and friends.
  • I worry that I will let people down, so I commit to more than I can actually accomplish and lack the ability to form the word “no” with my mouth.  I get afraid of what will happen if I refuse to do something that another person seems to expect me to accomplish.  Though I may have the ability to see that it gets done, I may not be able to invest the time it takes to get it done well.  Inevitably, I end up letting people down anyway just because I haven’t learned how to step and say “no” when it’s appropriate to do so.
  • I am a very thankful person.  I have an amazing husband who loves me, a family who cares, a job I enjoy, a staff who is incredible, and true friends.  The problem here? I may know how much I appreciate a person…but that doesn’t mean I have communicated that to them very well…if at all.
  • I could probably go on, or ask those who know me best to chime in and share a few other ways I am not up to par as a person.  Of course, they’d also tell me in grace and love and probably wouldn’t post it all over the internet for the world to see.  Above all, they would remind me that no one is perfect.

So what’s the point of all this?  Am I just sitting here bashing myself?  Reminding myself just how bad of a friend I can and have been to the people I love?  Nope, not at all.  I write this because I’m just tired.  Tired of hurting the ones I love.  Tired of giving people a perception of me as someone who is inconsiderate, forgetful, and ungrateful.  So I am making a commitment and I would like to invite you to join me in being a better friend.

  1. Turn off the notifications on my phone so that I only receive updates from my immediate family members and immediate circle of friends.
  2.  When a birthday reminder comes up on my phone, I will take a few moments during my quiet time and write them a card, address it, and mail it the same day OR I will call that person and wish them Happy Birthday.
  3. I will learn how to say, “Let me check my calendar,” OR “Let me get back to you on that.” When someone asks me to commit to something…since I obviously can’t seem to say NO.
  4. If I’m not sure I said thank you, or even if am 99.9% positive I said thank you…I will say it again!  I will also work hard to make writing thank you cards as a part of my quiet time.  Let’s say one-three times a week or as needed {don’t want to over commit here}.
  5. I will ask those closest to me if they can think of another way I can improve myself as a friend.  Y’all can tell me too…just be nice and send me an email ;).

I hope that I can turn myself around and be the best possible friend I can be for everyone I meet and make the extra effort in the areas I need to grow! If any of y’all have a Bible verse or two to share about this, please do!

What do you to be the best friend possible to those around you?

5 thoughts on “Being a Good Friend

  1. Great ideas, Heather! It definitely takes time to be a good friend and family member. Love the thought of writing a note during quiet time. Thanks~!! xoxo, Sam


  2. Great post Heather. I have learned to make thankfulness part of my life very early on in this life. I have always written thank you cards and tried to remember birthdays but like you I left my phone dictate my attention sometimes, even if unintentional. I love the fact that we can choose what we focus on in this life and I loved your post. Great reminder that those “here” are most important.


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